Yesterday, Once More
by CLWiosna
Summary: "She was desperate to find that reflection of the past again. Desperate to see the elation radiating from that smile of hers. Desperate to see herself yesterday, once more." Post-season 2, episode 20.


The house was a silent night.

Night ascended onto the horizon many hours earlier, asserting its dominance of the sky over the previous sunset with its brilliant, shining stars and dark splendor. The blackness permeated throughout the house, the many vibrant colors of furniture and family pictures being dulled to match the silent atmosphere of outside. From one room, however, came a light that caused shadows to stretch out from the cracks underneath the door.

The light was artificial and didn't match the brilliance of the night's stars but the room's inhabitant could outshine anything in brightness. Her happy-go-lucky attitude was just that luminous.

Yui Hirasawa was perched on her bed, left and right hands effortlessly coordinating with one another to produce a soft melody on her Heritage Cherry Sunburst Gibson Les Paul. It was the dead of night, twelve midnight exactly, but the chords rang out with their lovely sounds that made the night feel less dead and instead more serene. Yui took extra precaution to ensure that she was strumming softly enough so as not to disturb her sleeping sister Ui but loud enough that her ears could embrace the sounds of her beloved guitar, which she affectionately referred to as "Gitah."

This method of playing was quite different from how she normally played, usually strumming with such vigor and passion that her fingers would ache for hours afterwards, even given her three years of experience. Despite the calluses that had long developed to withstand the constant strumming, prolonged playing would still cause her hand to cramp for the hours afterward.

Instead of this typical energetic play-style of hers, her fingers were gliding across the frets as gently as possible as if she were cradling a cloud of cotton candy in her hand. The notes came out slower than the original tempo, a peaceful melody floating about the house in stark contrast with the _jaka jan_'s of her electric guitar, the roaring of the enthusiastic student audience, and the reverberating lyrics she sang. The night had always wrought a calmer atmosphere than the day.

"_All the while I took your existence for granted_~" Yui's hands instinctively ceased playing once she reached the bridge of the song, her singing taking its turn to be hailed in the night's spotlight.

"_And I thought that we would always, always be together_~" Feeling as though the vocals were lacking on its own, she managed to string together the notes matching the piano accompaniment in the actual song.

"_As days go by, I'm sorry only now that I realized that it really isn't the case…_" Her mind halted at this phrase, causing silence to fall upon the house once more. Yui wrote this song with her sister Ui in mind, each phrase holding some reference to everyday exchanges between the two sisters followed by heartfelt thanks for every one of them. Thanks for the help in homework, thanks for the words of encouragement in stressful times, and most _important _of all, thanks for the meals.

"I thought we would always, always be together…" Yui mumbled almost inaudibly to herself. Of course she would want to stay with Ui forever, but she wasn't naïve enough to think such a dream was attainable. The thought of this always hovered in the back of her mind like a phantom, haunting her conscience throughout the entirety of her senior year.

The house was now truly a silent night. Instead of continuing the song, Yui began twiddling with the tresses of her shoulder-length brown hair, the air suddenly becoming colder as if this phantom was right behind her.

…_This isn't just about Ui either…_her mind began wandering. _What about my friends in the light music club…? Won't I have to leave them too…?_

All of the senior members in the club would be attending the same university but each will be pursuing their own major or career. The day will eventually come that they will all separate from each other. This was inevitable, and Yui had let the ghost of a thought rear its head in the dead of night.

The upcoming university student didn't want to admit this though. In the aftermath of her final high school performance that happened merely yesterday, she muttered happy promises of performing for the next school festival and going to another training camp. The sun had shone vividly enough across the club room for Yui to actually believe what she was saying, the comforting rays of orange and scarlet promising her a bright future where they would all be able to play music together happily ever after.

It was only now under the contrast of the moon's piercing light that her mind was able to realize how everything will eventually reach their end. The reassuring sunset now felt like a lie, Yui feeling the horrors of the future and the end of her childhood upon her.

All those times teasing bassist Mio about her shyness, who would want to hide her blushing cheeks behind her luscious black hair. All those times partnering with drummer Ritsu in some convoluted Private-Captain partnership, who would often poke fun at how the brunettes looked like sisters. All those times thanking keyboardist Tsumugi for the wonderfully brewed tea, who would looked like a princess with her long blonde hair, lively cerulean eyes, and expensive china set. And of course, all of those times greeting cutest rhythm guitarist ever, Azusa, with her arms encircled around the small kitten.

All those fun and happy memories that she wouldn't give up for anything in the world: they would all end.

Yui was able to stay positive throughout the school festival and even after it but being alone in this dead of night, the silence now stifling her with a vice-like grip forcing her to face her thoughts…was she truly able to accept the end of the happiest three years of her life?

This silence was overstaying its welcome and Yui was eager to get rid of it. Yet each string she strummed and each note she plucked now only served to remind her that she would reach that point where the five of them would separate and she would no longer be in a band anymore. Perhaps she would even leave behind her precious "Gitah" in the seemingly not-so-distant future.

Yui couldn't take this anymore. She stood up from her bed, quickly stealing a glance at her phone to check the time. 12:15.

_Only that much time has passed…?_ She questioned, swearing that she was suffocating from the silence and nostalgia for nearly an hour. She quickly brushed off the thought, walking towards the bathroom to "wash away her worries." It's not as if she truly believed her anxieties could be washed away with a simple few splashes of water but any distraction could help her at this point.

She got up and walked with an empty mind. Her guitar was still strapped to herself as she walked out the door but this was not out of her usual forgetfulness.

* * *

Yui took a deep breath to cleanse herself of the stresses and worries in running rampant in her mind. In through the nose, and out through the—

"_Achoo—ow!_" Unfortunately, the force of her sneeze caused her head to collide with the bathroom's mirror, leaving a noticeably red oval on her forehead. "Mirror-san, that hurt…" the guitarist whined to herself while hovering her hands above the bruise.

"_Oh Yui, leave it to you to bump yourself on the head again!_" Ritsu's voice rung in her mind.

"_Like you're one to talk, Ritsu,_" the voice of Mio joined. "_I can't count how many times I've felt like hitting you for the stupid things you said._"

"_Felt like hitting me? Girl, you _have _hit me! Many many times!_"

"_Now now, let's not fight…_" Naturally, Tsumugi would have to join this mental conversation as the mediator between the two.

"_Mugi-senpai's right, how about we try practicing instead?"_ Oh Azusa and her not-so-subtle attempts to coerce the girls into practicing.

Yui shook her head and dispelled the chatter from her mind. It were these kinds of events that occurred daily in the light music club's room afterschool and the nostalgia now burdened on her like the weight of the sky.

She instead raised her head to stare at herself in the mirror. The lemon light emanating from the four bell-shaped light bulbs illuminating Yui's facial features completely. She delved deeply into those chocolate irises of hers, trying to find any semblance of the mirth and happiness she felt while performing in the murky pools of ginger. No luck. She only found a brown that was losing its luster, the life within it being sucked up as if a giant vacuum had done it.

Yui shook her head in frustration, slapping the sweaty palms of her hands against her cheeks to emphasize this. "I knew that we'd have to move on…" she said to herself in haphazard breaths. "I knew we'd all have to move on from high school. I knew we'd all have to leave these fun and happy memories behind us!" She smacked her palms against the cold cobblestone of her sink, eyes cast downward and titian tresses hanging in similar fashion. The drops of liquid falling from her face; she couldn't even distinguish the tears from the sweat.

"I just wish…we didn't have to leave it…all behind…" Her cries came out in short, stifled breaths. _Can I please…just please, go through yesterday once more? _She let her glance meet her own reflection one last time as if it would grant her wish.

"Mirror-san…what kind of trick are you playing on me…?" Instead of seeing her tear-stained eyes and disheveled bangs, she was met with a different image.

A navy-blue blazer wrapped around a bright white collared shirt. Pleated skirt of subtler baby blue and black leggings that accentuated curves perfectly. However, what enraptured Yui's gaze in a trance-like state were the two small pools of chocolate that sparkled with auburn gaiety and glee.

She was looking straight at herself as she appeared yesterday at the school festival performance, school uniform and all. The smile present on her face shined with such scintillating splendor that Yui herself was amazed if this is how joyful she came across to her friends.

_Is that…me…?_ she thought to herself, right hand unconsciously drifting towards the surface of the mirror.

The guitarist's reflection stood with back erect and eyes gazing straight forward, her right hand caressing the scarlet gradient across her instrument lovingly until they came across the five strings. Both hands became rigid as left formed itself into a chord and right held itself high above the E string, ready to play once more.

The sight of herself caused memories of yesteryear and the years before to flood through her mind. Purchasing Gitah from the music store, performing as a band of four in frilly dresses, performing a second time for the freshman orientation, strumming lightly the melody of _Brush Pen, Ballpoint Pen_ with Azusa, playing in front of an enthusiastic audience that witnessed her be late to her own performance.

In those vibrant, brown eyes of her reflection she saw the mirth and pure happiness that being in _Afterschool Tea Time_ brought her. Every piece of memories was something worth preserving for the rest of her life, her most precious and valuable treasures. The sight of her reflection ready to play, pick firmly but dearly caressed between her fingers, brought not a torrent of tears but a single droplet that quietly streamed down her reddened cheek.

The palm of her hand softly pressed against the cold surface of glass, desiring the affectionate warmth that the other members always characterized her for.

Just as the reflection was about to play, however, Yui blinked and she only saw herself again. Not the cheerful guitarist spreading her happiness to others with a cherry sunburst enthusiasm and cherry blossom charm, but the crying guitarist who had been angsting about the looming arrival of graduation and the end of her childhood.

Yui blinked a couple of times, deer-in-headlights fashion, before pressing her hand harder against the mirror. "Hey! Hey Mirror-san, what did you do with myself?!" she said while knocking against the surface of the mirror.

A feeling of heaviness soon pervaded her eyes, water threatening to escape from her in rapid waves again. She was desperate to find that reflection of the past again. Desperate to see the elation radiating from that smile of hers. Desperate to see herself yesterday, once more.

While scooting closer to the mirror in this vain attempt, she yelped in surprise as the E string on her guitar collided with the sink. "Oops," she muttered to herself while ensuring no damage was done to the instrument. "Sorry about that, Gitah…!"

As she continued to assess her precious Les Paul for any scratches or scrapes, she found herself staring lovingly at the curvature of the instrument, which retained its fiery color and wooden resilience.

Silence permeated the air for a moment as her gaze stayed fixated on this invaluable instrument of hers.

Unconsciously, her hands continued the rest of the song she was playing earlier, the acoustic rendition sounding much more soothing to her than the electric version she played at the festival.

_Maybe Mirror-san was trying to tell me something…_ the thought occurred to her as her fingers skillfully formed the positions for each chord one after the other. Seeing herself with such elation initially filled her with grief but there was something she saw in her eyes that…gave off the sense that no matter what the future has in store for her, her eyes would retain the vivid brown of chocolate in the face of such events.

_Maybe…it's nice to have these nice memories to look back on…_The recollection of past memories she experienced earlier flashed through her mind once more but unlike before, her lips formed itself into a small curve.

_But…I need to continue forward…_

A certain tune came to her head that she instantly recognized as another one of her band's songs. "_I'm sure, the sky above us saw it all. All the times we tripped but also all the times we walked on 'til the end_."

The words were soon escaping her mouth as she sang along to the song, eyes closed as she indulged herself in her memories once more, yet this time without a painful feeling in her chest.

"_The platform at the station, the path by the riverside. Even if we're apart, we can look up at the same sky…_" Yui felt tears streaming down her face but not of sorrow or sadness. "_And sing in unison…! Ahh_"

She let Gitah and her hands handle the bridge of the song, instinctively handling the guitar solo with ease while reminiscing about her past in high school in a different light.

_Yeah…memories are nice. I mean, I'm thinking about some right now! _Her fingers glided between the frets as if she was running her hand through chocolate cake frosting, moving down the neck of the guitar to finish the song. _But at the same time, I think I should just appreciate them for what they are and look forward to tomorrow, for once._

* * *

**A/N**: Firstly, thank you for reading to the end of my story! Assuming you didn't just skip down to the bottom to read the author's notes for...whatever...reason...If you have read through it though, that is enough for me to be thankful for. Leaving a review for this story would just be icing on the cake, whether it be a long review picking apart every single misgiving and error or a short review saying "good job!" Really, all reviews are appreciated.

A little background on how this story came about: the picture that is used as the story's cover picture is what inspired the entirety of the fic. I do not know who created this picture but whoever did, thank you so much for making such an amazing artwork of Yui. Originally, the way I saw it was that the Yui facing the viewer was Yui in the future as a NEET and she was reminiscing on the past when things always seemed to be happier for her, hence why she would want to return to "yesterday, once more."

But writing Yui as a NEET was more difficult than I thought so I decided to write about Yui post season 2 episode 20, I think was the episode, and having her look back on the festival. I think it is a little OOC of me to write her as being saddened about the realization of graduating but that was when she was with all of her friends. Alone at night...I think it's not exactly far-fetched that it's a littttle bit harder to be optimistic...but that's just my two cents.

Anyway, that's enough of rambling. Thanks for reading!


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